THE CATHEDRAL

Just a few minutes walk from my home in Mazamet, there is a beautiful church. I would like to call it a Cathedral, because of how remarkably beautiful it is, outside and inside. It is a Catholic church, and the bells ring at every hour. You can hear them ringing all through the town. When I am at the pub I watch people pass by the Cathedral without as much as a glance up towards its beautiful structure. I never see anyone go inside, and I never see anyone coming out.

I waited several weeks to go inside, because I just assumed that you weren’t allowed to go inside, like our LDS temples. But then, one of the boys said I could go in whenever I wanted. And so now, I do. Inside is quiet, cold and beautiful. The ceiling stands tall, with stained glass windows at the top. The walls are all painted on with images of God, Disciples and leaders. The paint behind is a dark teal, making the images appear darker and also in a way, luminous.

I come here at least once a day, and spend a good hour or so here. I walk in and watch the people at the pub stare in curiosity as I go inside. I drop a few coins into a box and take a tall candle that burns for 7 hours, say a prayer, and light my candle.

I like to sit here and write, read, or just think. It’s so strange and interesting to be in such a big and beautiful place all alone. Usually, when I am somewhere this amazing, it is filled with people, all looking around, being loud and touristy. Being able to spend a quiet hour here by myself is something that I realize is rare, and magnificent. The weather here is so hot it could kill, and many days we just lay around being too hot to care. But here, I can come and really think in the cool air. The candles lit by the people I never see, burn in all of the corners of the Cathedral and the ambiance is surreal.

I am not Catholic, I am not Protestant. I claim myself LDS, and most people here assume that I am Amish, which is entirely adorable. But mostly, I believe in God, and his presence. Though I am not a member of these other faiths, I don’t think they are entirely wrong. For someone to feel the love of God so thoroughly in their life to build this incredible place means that person truly felt his love and guidance. It’s interesting how sitting here in this, what feels like a holy place, that I have learned that God works and moves in many different ways. He doesn’t hold himself from those who don’t know the truth, but gives himself entirely to those who want to be near him. I can feel the God that I have believed in and loved for so many years within these walls. I know he is here, and that he is the same God to these people, just in a different format.

Not being able to attend church every week with my friends and family and feel the presence of other LDS members has been a unique experience for me. I thought I would feel more alone than I do right now. I thought that my belief system would be shaken by the difference in cultures and mindsets here in France. I thought that every single day would be a struggle to find myself and what I have placed as my standards, in my heart. But it hasn’t been hard at all. In fact, it’s almost been easier than it is in Utah. I think that being alone, without any knowing, physical eyes watching me, I have had to decide if I was doing this for others, or if I really was doing this for myself, and Christ. It has been more simple to be alone in my faith and deciding that my standards are loyal to me without a fault.

I think that by coming here everyday, I have been able to reflect on my ideas of religion and what religion really is. Religion is people working towards the same thing. Happiness. Goodness. Love. Religion isn’t about who’s God is right and who’s isn’t. It’s not about the belief system or the way that the church is designed. No, it’s all about working towards a common goal. I am working towards happiness, being good in this world, and ultimately finding love with human beings. I am religious. I don’t think it has to be more complicated than that.

This Cathedral has been a great treasure to me. It will be one of the things that I miss the most when I leave France. I can’t believe I have been lucky enough to have the time that I have spend here.